Negotiate and Win - Second Edition

The processes in this book developed out of emergency. The emergency was my very green introduction to one of the highest conflict industries of all – Industrial Relations. With almost no knowledge and little skill, I found myself as the \Army’s Chief Industrial Officer.

Daily I was confronted with conflict which arose between unions and management in army establishments all over Australia. The personal strain was enormous. I found myself drinking too much and suffering agonies of anxiety. I desperately wanted to win, and very often, I did not. The conflict was sometimes violent and verbal, sometimes a pale compromise that left all parties tired, dissatisfied, and dispirited. Gradually I learned from the deals which worked, and more from analysis of those that failed the rudiments of the skill of negotiation. The main aspects that seemed to have some impact on the results were Information – Style – Phases – Tactics and the Relationship between the parties. At the time, I made no effort to systematize these vague feelings. In fact, it was not until much later, at a time when with surprised recall, I noticed that the emergency had passed, and other people were asking for advice. I started to piece together in a systematic way the scraps I had learned, so I could pass it on to others. That exercise was precious for me, and I concluded that three elements were essential – phases, style and tactics. I discovered that Information is part of the Preparation phase and the Relationship between the parties was intrinsic to the Wants phase and also affected the Style of a negotiation. Tactics became an important but less vital section on its own.

STARTING TO WIN

The more I tried to win, the more often the agreements I tried to come to fell through or caused emotional clashes with people, more strikes, more threats. It dawned on me that I also had to let the other party win. It now is obvious to me that unless both parties feel satisfied with the outcome, no lasting solution can be expected. I certainly learned the lesson the hard, slow way. The problem then became how to let the other party win something without giving away concessions. That answer now seems obvious also, but it took a long time to develop. It is simply that concessions must be traded rather than given away. Gradually my thinking became clearer, and the results are reflected in the following chapters.

WHAT IS NEGOTIABLE

From work which had a specific purpose in the Industrial Relations context, I began to explore the possibilities of this system of negotiation. I realised that to take full advantage of a system that worked, I had to look for situations which were negotiable. To my surprise, nearly everything was negotiable. Negotiations occur in the domestic, social and work areas of our lives. Almost any situation can be turned into a negotiation if you look for the variables where you have room to move. The first aim of this book then is to encourage the reader to look beyond the face value of many situations and negotiate more purchases, requests, and sales, domestic or social conflict. Look for the thousands of little negotiable opportunities that come up every week and practice. It is both instructive and fun.

With hindsight I can see that:

Everybody negotiates to some degree every day.

People are good natural negotiators as children, and then they start to lose their skills.

There is no substitute for excellent negotiation skills training if you do not want to spend your life reinventing the wheel.

All the reading and training in the world will be wasted if you do not actively practice both in simulation sessions and in the crucible of the real world.

Negotiation is a process which starts as soon as one person wants to get something from another. It also implies that both parties have the power of veto over the other. In other words, both parties agree to co-operate.

Negotiation is the essence of the social contract that bind our various forms of society. As individuals we are weak and powerless compared to many other life forms. How did we become the predominant species in the world. It is not only our large and intelligent brain that sets us apart, but that is also not much use when an individual is attacked by wild animals.

Negotiation is the only way we could have survived by banding together and by reliance on others to accomplish even the simplest tasks. None of us are capable of being the independent hero of a fictional world who relies on no-one else to conquer the evils of the day.

TYPES OF NEGOTIATION

When I was applying what I had learned in an Industrial Relations context, to the business, commercial, legal and social contexts, I realised that two main types of negotiation existed. In any given situation we may be forced to negotiate with only one party (monopoly), or we may have the option of choosing the party we wish to negotiate with (market place)

Husband/wife/children are often in a monopolistic relationship as regard to their negotiations with each other.

There are many situations in which you do not have a choice with whom you negotiate. In such cases, it becomes essential that a solution is found both to preserve the relationship and to resolve the conflict in the shortest possible time.

Where there is a choice of parties, then the relationship is much weaker, and the urge to settle is much less.

You can buy a lounge suite from many furniture stores, and the tactic of the threat of competition is frequently used in these situations.

TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT

In a supermarket, the prices of items are marked on the shelves (a legitimacy tactic) and it is unlikely that the checkout girl will haggle over the price of a can of beans. The cost to both parties in time and effort is not worth the potential saving or sale. However, the supermarket manager may well be prepared to negotiate the, a bulk order of beans.

“Take it or leave it” can be a policy because they have a monopoly on the item or the time and effort are not worth it. ‘Take it or leave it’ can also be a tactic. (See Chapter 11)

ETHICS AND MORALITY

Some of the tactics and strategy in this book will be considered unethical by some people. I illustrate tactics not necessarily to recommend their use, but to make readers aware of their existence. Recognition of tactics is essential, but adoption is your choice.